Experiencing grief as a teenager turns your whole world upside down. It can feel confusing, overwhelming and really unfair. You might be wondering if what you’re feeling is normal, why everything suddenly feels different or why no one else seems to get it.

But no matter how things feel right now, you’re not the only one going through this, and there are ways to cope that don’t involve pretending you’re fine when you’re not.

There’s no one way to grieve. Some people cry a lot, some people don’t cry at all. You might feel angry, numb, guilty, anxious or completely drained. One minute you might feel okay, and the next you’re hit with a wave of sadness out of nowhere.

Here are just a few ways grief as a teenager might show up.

• Feeling constantly tired or struggling to sleep

• Wanting to be alone, or hating being alone

• Being angry at people, even if they’re trying to help

• Feeling guilty for things you did or didn’t do or say

• Struggling to focus at school or feeling like school doesn’t matter anymore

• Acting like everything’s fine on the outside, but not feeling fine at all

All of these reactions are completely normal. There’s no timeline for grief, and no right or wrong way to feel.

Being a teenager already means figuring out who you are and what matters to you. When you’re grieving, that whole process can feel even harder. You might start questioning everything, or feel like you’ve changed completely. That’s not unusual. Grief as a teenager often makes you feel older than your friends, like you’re carrying something huge that others can’t see or understand.

School, Friends & Social Media During Grief 

Going back to school after a loss can feel weird. You’re expected to do your homework and act normal when nothing feels normal. Friends might not know what to say or how to act, which can make things feel even lonelier.

And then there’s social media. Seeing people post about their families or normal stuff can hit hard, or make you feel like your grief doesn’t fit in. You might want to post about your loss, or you might want to disappear online completely. Either way is okay. Just be mindful of what helps and what doesn’t.

Why Adults Might Not Understand How You Feel

Sometimes, even the adults in your life don’t fully get what you’re going through. They might be grieving too, or they might think they’re protecting you by not talking about it. If adults are acting like everything’s fine or avoiding the subject, it doesn’t mean your grief doesn’t matter. It just means they’re struggling in their own way.

You still deserve support. You deserve space to talk about what you’re feeling – even if others aren’t doing the same.

It can feel awkward or scary to talk to friends about what you’re going through. You might worry about making them uncomfortable, being seen as “too emotional,” or that they just won’t get it. But the people who care about you probably want to help, they just might not know how.

You don’t need to have a big, emotional talk if that’s not your thing. Even saying something simple like “I’m having a rough day today,” or “I’m not really up for chatting right now, but I appreciate you checking in,” can help your friends understand what you need.

If you want to open up, try being honest:

• “I’m not okay, but I don’t need you to fix it. Just being here helps.”

• “I don’t want to talk about it right now, but I’d still like to hang out.”

• “Please don’t treat me differently. I’m still me.”

Real friends won’t always get it right, but if they’re kind and willing to listen, that’s what matters. And if someone doesn’t respond well, that says more about them than it does about you.

Everyone deals with grief differently, but these are a few things that can actually help when things feel too much.

• Writing or Talking About It
  Even if it’s messy or doesn’t make sense, getting thoughts out of your head can help. Write in a journal, text a friend or talk to someone you trust. You can learn more about Grief Journalling in our resource ‘Using Grief Journalling To Help You With Loss’.

• Getting Space Without Shutting Everyone Out
  It’s okay to need time alone. Just try not to completely block everyone out. You still need people, even if it’s just to sit in silence with you.

• Doing Something in Memory of the Person You Lost
  This could be lighting a candle, making a playlist, wearing something of theirs or drawing a picture. It can be a small way to stay connected.

• When to Ask for Help and Who You Can Talk To
  If things feel too big, it’s okay to ask for help. That might be from a school counsellor, a support group or a bereavement charity like The Laura Centre. Talking to someone outside of your family can be a big relief.

Grief as a teenager isn’t something you have to deal with on your own.

You don’t have to deal with grief alone. Whether you want to read something, talk to someone or just know what’s out there, these organisations, groups and books can help.

Organisations

• The Laura Centre – Offers specialist bereavement counselling and support for teenagers who have lost a parent or sibling.

• YoungMinds – Help with grief, anxiety and mental health support for teens.

• Winston’s Wish– Support for children and young people grieving a parent or sibling.

Support Groups & Chat Rooms

• Hope Again (by Cruse) – A space where young people share their stories and support each other.

• Kooth – Free, anonymous online counselling and emotional wellbeing support.

You can also explore a range of apps we recommend for bereaved young people here.

Books

• Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers by Earl A. Grollman

• You Will Be Okay: Find Strength, Stay Hopeful and Get to Grips With Grief by Julie Stokes

• The Grief Journal for Teens by Katie Lear

If you’ve lost a parent or sibling, The Laura Centre is here to help. We offer specialist support for teenagers dealing with grief, including counselling, one-to-one sessions and safe spaces to talk. If you’re over 16, you can refer yourself, but if you’re under 16, we will ask an adult to refer you first.

You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to feel okay every day. But you also don’t have to go through this by yourself.

To find out more or talk to someone about getting support, visit thelauracentre.org.uk. We’re here for you, whenever you’re ready.