Talking to children about their dad’s death is one of the hardest things a caregiver will ever do. But how that conversation happens can shape how a child begins to process their grief.

Many adults worry about saying the wrong thing or causing more upset. But honest, gentle communication can make all the difference. Children don’t need every detail, but they do need the truth, explained in a way they can understand, and repeated when they’re ready to hear it again.

As difficult as it is, it’s important to speak to children about their dad’s death as soon as possible. Delaying the conversation can cause confusion and make the truth harder to process later on. Ideally, the news should come from someone close and trusted – someone who can offer comfort and answer questions as they arise.

Pick a quiet, private moment where you won’t be rushed or interrupted. Sit at their level, use their name and be clear and calm. You might say –

“I have some very sad news. Dad has died. That means his body has stopped working and he can’t come back.”

Pause often. Let them ask questions. It’s okay if you cry. It’s okay if they don’t respond right away. What matters most is creating space for the conversation, not getting it perfect.

Different ages need different kinds of explanations when talking to children about death. Avoid vague phrases like “passed away” or “gone to sleep,” which can confuse young children and create fear around sleep or separation.

Talking To Young Children (Ages 2–6)

Very young children don’t fully understand that death is permanent. They may ask the same questions over and over. Keep your answers short and simple, and repeat as needed.

“Dad died. That means his body doesn’t work anymore. He can’t come back, and it’s not your fault.”

It helps to use clear words like died or dead, no matter how harsh they feel. Children need clarity to begin making sense of what’s happened.

Supporting School-Aged Children (Ages 7–12)

This age group understands death better, but may still struggle with big emotions. They might want more details or ask why it happened. Be honest, even if the answer is “I don’t know.”

Let them know it’s okay to talk, ask questions or feel upset – or not feel anything right now.

Communicating With Teenagers

Teens often grasp the full reality of death, but may keep their feelings hidden. They might not want to talk immediately, but knowing they can talk matters. Be open, check in without pressure and respect their space.

Being honest doesn’t mean giving every detail, but it does mean using clear language. Children take things literally, so euphemisms like “lost,” “gone to sleep,” or “passed away” can be confusing or even scary. Saying their dad died – however hard it is – helps them begin to understand what’s happened. It’s okay if the word feels harsh. Clarity builds trust, and children need that to feel safe.

You might be asked difficult questions like “Will I die too?” or “Why did this happen?” These moments can feel overwhelming, especially when you don’t have all the answers. Keep your responses simple and reassuring: “Everyone dies one day, but most people live for a long time. Right now, you’re safe and I’m here.” And if you don’t know the answer, it’s okay to say so. “I’m not sure, but I understand why you’re asking.”

Honesty, paired with calm presence, is often more comforting than any perfect explanation.

Father’s Day can be a painful and confusing time after a dad’s death. Some children may feel left out when classmates are making cards at school. Others might feel pressure to do something or not know what they want.

Planning ahead can help reduce anxiety and give your child a sense of control over how they mark the day, if they want to at all.

Talking About The Day Ahead Of Time

Start by letting your child know when Father’s Day is coming up. Avoiding it might feel easier, but for many children, not acknowledging the day can lead to more confusion or a sense that they’re not allowed to talk about their dad. A gentle heads-up can help them feel emotionally prepared.

You might say – “Father’s Day is next Sunday. It might bring up some big feelings, or it might not. Either way is okay. We can decide together what you’d like to do.”

Giving Children A Choice In How They Want To Acknowledge It

Children grieve in different ways. Some might want to do something to remember their dad. Others may prefer to ignore the day completely. Both are valid. Giving them a choice can help them feel seen and respected. And if they do want to do something, let them take the lead.

Some families decide to do something together each year, like going for a walk or sharing a favourite meal. Others might keep it simple, or change it up each time. There’s no right or wrong approach.

Simple Ways to Remember & Honour Dad

Small acts of remembrance can be comforting. Depending on your child’s age and personality, you could suggest –

• Writing a card or letter to their dad

• Lighting a candle or creating a small memory space

• Looking through photos and sharing stories

• Listening to his favourite music or watching a film he loved

• Visiting a place that was special to them

The goal isn’t to make the day better, but to create space for whatever they’re feeling.

Some children may also benefit from a conversation with their school in the lead-up to Father’s Day. If card-making or activities are planned, giving teachers a heads-up means they can offer a more sensitive approach or give your child the option to sit it out.

For a real-life perspective, this BBC Bitesize video shares Lottie’s experience of navigating Father’s Day after her dad’s death.

Ultimately, one conversation isn’t enough. Children will continue to process their dad’s death over time, often revisiting it as they grow. They might ask new questions months or even years later.

Check in regularly and keep communication open. Some children express grief through behaviour or silence, not words. So let them know that whatever they’re feeling is okay and that it’s safe to talk when they’re ready.

Support from school, family and specialist services like The Laura Centre can also make a huge difference. Children don’t need fixing – they need to be heard, seen and gently supported.

At The Laura Centre, we offer specialist bereavement support for families after the death of a parent, including one-to-one counselling for children and young people.

If you’re facing the heartbreaking task of talking to your child about their dad’s death, you don’t have to do it alone. Whether you need help with what to say, how to support your child long-term or someone to listen to you too, we’re here.

To access support or find out more, visit thelauracentre.org.uk.