Helping children with special educational needs (SEN) through bereavement is a sensitive and often complex process. These children may have difficulty understanding their loss, so it’s important to tailor your approach to fit each child’s individual needs. Here are some practical ways to help bereaved children with SEN as they work through their grief in a school environment.

Children with SEN often need straightforward and clear explanations about death and loss. Avoid euphemisms like “passed away” or “gone to sleep,” as these can confuse them further. Instead, use direct but gentle language, such as, “(Name) has died, which means their body has stopped working, and we won’t see them anymore.” Tailor the explanation to their developmental level, and check for understanding by encouraging questions.

Some children may benefit from visual aids, such as social stories or pictures. These tools can make it easier for them to process information in a way that suits their learning style.

Grief can heighten sensory sensitivities, making everyday environments overwhelming. A bereaved child with SEN might struggle with bright lights, loud noises or crowded spaces more than usual. Offering quiet spaces or sensory-friendly tools like noise-canceling headphones, fidget toys or weighted blankets can help them feel more grounded.

Parents and carers are the best source of insight into how a child’s SEN affects their emotional processing. Keeping communication open helps you learn about their usual coping strategies, any triggers and the most effective ways to connect with them.

They can also share valuable information about the family’s cultural or religious practices surrounding death, helping you handle the situation with greater sensitivity and respect.

Children with SEN may express their grief through changes in behaviour rather than words. You might notice increased aggression, withdrawal, repetitive behaviours or regression in skills they had previously mastered. These behaviours aren’t bad – they’re their way of communicating distress.

Approach these changes with patience and compassion, and reassure the child that they’re safe and supported.

Regular check-ins create a structured opportunity for children to share how they’re feeling. These could take the form of daily conversations, a mood chart they can fill in or even non-verbal signals like showing a card to indicate how they’re doing.

A consistent check-in routine helps children feel seen and cared for, even if they aren’t ready to talk about their emotions immediately.

A grief toolkit is a personalised set of resources designed to help children process their emotions in a way that fits their needs. It might include sensory items, emotion cards, social stories about loss and calming activities like colouring pages or mindfulness exercises.

With a variety of options, the child can choose what feels right for them. This sense of control can help them manage their emotions effectively.

Visual aids, like emotion charts, can be a valuable tool for helping children with SEN express their feelings. These charts allow non-verbal or less articulate children to point to how they’re feeling. Over time, they can also support emotional literacy, helping the child better understand and process their grief.

Connecting with peers who have faced similar losses can be deeply comforting for children. Group activities like art or music therapy can help them feel a sense of belonging and normalise their emotions. If a peer group isn’t available, one-to-one time with a trusted friend or mentor can also offer meaningful support.

To create a safe and supportive space, make sure these interactions are supervised and guided at all times.

Children with SEN may not express their grief through words. Some might prefer drawing, painting, writing or using music to communicate their feelings. Others might find physical activities like playing with clay or going for a walk more therapeutic. Respect their preferred methods of expression and provide opportunities for them to engage in these activities regularly.

Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays can be particularly challenging for bereaved children with SEN. Mark these dates on a calendar and discuss them with the child beforehand. Together, plan activities that honour their loved one’s memory, such as lighting a candle, looking at photos or sharing stories. This advanced preparation can help the child feel supported and reduce feelings of anxiety or overwhelm.

Supporting a bereaved child with SEN often requires a team effort. Organisations like The Laura Centre can provide specialist guidance, training and resources to help you navigate these situations effectively.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to charities, counsellors or therapists with expertise in both SEN and bereavement. Together, you can create a comprehensive support plan tailored to the child’s unique needs.

By combining empathy, understanding and practical support, you can make a real difference in the lives of bereaved children with SEN.

If you need to refer a young person for support following the loss of a parent or sibling, turn to The Laura Centre.