When someone we love dies, it can be really hard to understand or explain how we’re feeling. Grief can show up in lots of ways – we can feel sad, angry, confused or even numb. And sometimes, it helps to have something we can hold onto, like a bereavement memory box.

A bereavement memory box is a box where you can collect things that remind you of the person you miss. It could hold photos, letters, drawings or anything that feels important to you. There’s no right or wrong to make one, but here’s some tips that might help.

When someone dies, it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions. Some days might feel okay, and others might feel really heavy. A bereavement memory box gives you a place to keep memories safe. Looking through it can help you feel closer to the person you lost, especially on hard days or anniversaries.

It can also be a way to remember the good times, like their laugh, something funny they used to say or a holiday you went on together. Your box can hold those moments so you don’t have to carry them all in your head.

Sometimes it helps to have something physical to touch and hold when you’re missing someone. That’s what makes a bereavement memory box so special. It’s something you can come back to again and again, in your own time.

You can put anything inside your bereavement memory box that feels special to you. Here are some ideas.

• Photos – Pictures of you together, or ones that remind you of happy times.
• Drawings – Something you’ve drawn for them or that reminds you of them.
• Letters or cards – Maybe they wrote you a birthday card, or you want to write them a letter now.
• Clothing or fabric – A scarf, a t-shirt or even a tiny scrap of something they wore.
• Objects – Their favourite pen, a shell from a walk you had, or a toy they gave you.
• Smells – Spray a bit of their perfume or aftershave onto paper.
• Your own notes – Write down a memory you don’t want to forget, or how you’re feeling today.

You don’t need lots of things. Even one or two small items can be enough. You might find things that surprise you – items that don’t seem important to anyone else, but mean a lot to you.

Some people also like to include things that they want to say but didn’t get the chance to. You can write these down and keep them safe in your box.

You don’t need anything fancy. A shoebox, a biscuit tin or even a small suitcase will work. What matters most is that it’s safe and feels special to you.

You could decorate it with their name, stickers or drawings, their favourite colour or quotes that they used to say. This is your space to be creative. If you want, you can ask a trusted adult or sibling to help you decorate it. Some people like to cover their box in wrapping paper, paint it or add a photo to the lid.

It might feel emotional decorating your bereavement memory box – and that’s okay. You can take as much time with it as you need.

Some people like to open their bereavement memory box often – maybe every week. Others only look inside on special days like birthdays or holidays. And some people just like knowing it’s there, even if they don’t open it very often.

There’s no rules. Do what feels right for you. And remember, you can add or take things out over time. Your box can grow and change as your feelings do.

Sometimes, people find it comforting to look through the box with someone else. You could share it with a parent, a friend or someone in your family who also misses the person. Other times, you might want to keep it just for yourself – and that’s okay too.

If making a bereavement memory box feels too difficult, that’s okay. You don’t have to do it all at once. You could start with just one photo or object, ask someone to help you get started or wait until you feel ready. Some people wait weeks or even months before they’re ready. There’s no rush.

If you’re not sure what to include, you could make a list first, or talk to someone who knew the person. And if you’re finding things really tough, talk to someone you trust – like a parent or teacher. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone.

Making a bereavement memory box can be a gentle way to hold onto someone special after they’ve died. It’s a reminder that even though they’re no longer here, your memories and love for them haven’t gone anywhere.

There’s no ‘right’ way to grieve, and no rules about what your box should look like. What matters is that it means something to you. You might even decide to make more than one memory box, or create a digital version using photos, voice notes or messages. Take your time – you don’t have to do it all at once. Your memory box will be there when you’re ready, filled with love and reminders that they mattered.

If you need more support, The Laura Centre is here to help children and families after someone dies. You can ask an adult to get in touch with us via 0116 254 4341 or info@thelauracentre.org.uk.