When you’ve lost someone, the ‘normal’ demands of work – emails, meetings and deadlines – can feel completely surreal. On top of the grief, there’s the added stress of figuring out how to tell your boss and what your rights are.

You’re likely looking for two things. What bereavement leave are you entitled to, and how do you ask for it? This guide cuts through the jargon to explain UK bereavement law and give you practical ways to start that conversation.

Bereavement leave is time off work following the death of someone close to you. It’s sometimes called compassionate leave. The purpose is to give you time to process the loss, deal with practical arrangements and recover enough to return to work safely and reasonably.

In the UK, bereavement leave is a mix of limited legal entitlement and employer discretion. This means what’s available to you will depend on both the law and your workplace policies.

Many people don’t realise this until they’re grieving, which can make the process feel confusing or unfair at exactly the wrong moment.

UK employment law provides very specific bereavement rights, but they are narrower than many people expect. Under UK law, you are legally entitled to Statutory Parental Bereavement Leave if –

• Your child dies under the age of 18, or

• You experience a stillbirth after 24 weeks of pregnancy

In these circumstances, eligible employees can take –

• Up to two weeks of bereavement leave

• Taken as one continuous block or two separate weeks

• Statutory Parental Bereavement Pay, if eligibility criteria are met

This is currently the only form of bereavement leave that is guaranteed by law in the UK.

For all other bereavements, including the death of a parent, partner, sibling, grandparent or close friend, there is no automatic legal right to paid bereavement leave.

If you need advice on financial support following loss, you can read our guide ‘Financial Support For Bereaved Families’.

If your situation doesn’t fall under statutory parental bereavement leave, this doesn’t mean you’re out of options. It means your support will come from other routes.

You may still be able to access –

• Bereavement or compassionate leave outlined in your employment contract or staff handbook

• Time off for dependants (unpaid) if the death creates an immediate emergency

• Annual leave, taken at short notice

• Temporary flexible working arrangements

• Sick leave, if grief is affecting your mental health

Many employers offer more than the legal minimum, even if they’re not required to. But if you’re unsure what’s available, it’s reasonable to ask HR or your manager to clarify your options at any time.

There is no ‘correct’ amount of bereavement leave to ask for. Grief doesn’t work to a timetable, and the impact of loss varies widely depending on your relationship to the person who has died and your circumstances.

Some people ask for a few days initially, then reassess. Others need longer – particularly if there are practical responsibilities, travel or caring roles involved. You’re allowed to ask for what you need, even if you’re not sure yet what that looks like.

It’s also okay to say you need time now, and to discuss longer-term adjustments later.

This is often the hardest step, especially when you’re in shock or emotionally drained. When asking for bereavement leave, it can help to –

• Let your employer know as soon as you’re able, even if it’s brief

• Keep the message simple and factual

• Be clear about what you’re asking for (time off, flexibility, a conversation)

• Ask what options or support are available

You are not required to explain the details of your loss unless you choose to. And if speaking feels too hard, emailing is completely acceptable.

If you’re not sure how to frame your bereavement leave request, here’s an initial email template you can use. You can adapt the wording below to reflect your situation.

–

Hi [Manager’s name],

I wanted to let you know that I’ve recently experienced a bereavement – my [relationship, e.g. mum / dad / partner / sibling] has died.

I’m finding things really difficult at the moment, so I’d like to ask for some bereavement leave from [start date] to [end date]. I’ll keep you updated should I need to adjust those dates.

When I’m feeling able, I’d be happy to talk about next steps or any support that might help.

Thank you for your understanding and support,

[Your name]

–

Remember, you don’t need to justify your grief or apologise for needing time. You just need to let your employer know.

If your request for bereavement leave at work is refused, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re out of options. While there isn’t a general legal right to paid bereavement leave, there are other routes you can explore.

1. Check your contract and workplace policies

Many employers offer bereavement or compassionate leave beyond the legal minimum, but it’s not always obvious. Ask HR or your manager to confirm what your contract or staff handbook says and whether it applies to your situation.

2. Time off for dependants (unpaid)

UK law gives employees the right to reasonable unpaid time off for dependants. This applies when a dependant – including a spouse, parent or child – dies, or when you need to deal with an immediate emergency related to the death.

This time off is usually short (often a day or two) but it is a legal right, and an employer cannot lawfully refuse it if the situation qualifies.

3. Sick leave

If grief is affecting your mental health, sleeping patterns, concentration or anxiety, your GP may consider you unfit for work. Taking sick leave for grief-related mental health is legitimate and common, and can range from 2 weeks to 3 months.

4. Ask about alternatives

If bereavement leave isn’t approved, you can ask about annual leave, unpaid leave, flexible hours or temporary adjustments including working from home. You’re allowed to ask what support is available in the short term.

5. Escalate for advice or mediation

If the response feels unfair or unclear, speaking to HR can help. If policies haven’t been followed, you may even decide to raise a formal grievance.

You can also contact ACAS for free, confidential advice about your rights and next steps without committing to formal action.

6. Employment tribunals (last resort)

Legal action is rarely needed, but may apply if you’re treated unfairly, refused legal time off or discriminated against. There are strict time limits, so early advice is important if you’re concerned.

When it’s time to return to work, many people find it harder than expected. You may find it helpful to talk with your employer about temporary adjustments, especially in the early days back, including –

• A phased return, such as shorter days or fewer shifts for the first week or two

• Temporary flexible hours, particularly if sleep has been disrupted by grief

• A lighter workload, or prioritising essential tasks while you regain focus

• Regular check-ins with your manager to review how things are going

• A quiet space or time out for moments when emotions feel overwhelming

It’s also okay to decide how much you want colleagues to know. Some people prefer their manager to share a brief explanation on their behalf, while others choose to keep details private.

For more guidance on returning to work after a bereavement, you can read our dedicated guide here.

At The Laura Centre, we offer free, specialist bereavement counselling for parents who have lost a child of any age. We also support children and young people who have lost a parent or sibling. Our counsellors understand child bereavement and provide a safe space to talk openly, at your own pace, about how loss is affecting you.

If you would like to find out more, email us via info@thelauracentre.org.uk or call us on 0116 254 4341.