Grief on Mother’s Day can affect every mum differently. Some may find the day overwhelming, while others will choose not to recognise it at all. What matters most is allowing yourself to approach the day in a way that feels most manageable for you.

Here are some gentle suggestions that may help in the lead-up to the day, on the day itself, and when navigating conversations with others.

For many mums, the build-up to Mother’s Day can feel just as difficult as the day itself. Reminders often begin weeks in advance, and the anticipation alone can bring waves of emotion. Taking a little time to prepare for the day ahead can sometimes make it feel slightly more manageable.

Anticipate Triggers

In the weeks before Mother’s Day, it can seem like reminders are everywhere you look.

Advertising campaigns, social media posts and conversations about celebrations can trigger anxious feelings. But recognising these triggers in advance can help you prepare for them.

Some mums find it helpful to limit time on social media, avoid certain shops or events or simply acknowledge that these reminders may bring difficult emotions. Remember – feeling upset or unsettled during this time is a normal response to grief.

Decide How You Want To Spend The Day

It can help to think ahead about what you want the day to look like. Some mums choose to mark the day quietly, while others prefer to avoid it altogether.

You might want to spend time remembering your child, be with close family or keep the day low-key and private. There’s no expectation to follow traditions if they no longer feel right. In fact, many mums find that how they approach grief on Mother’s Day changes from year to year, and that’s completely okay.

Speak To Family Or Loved Ones

Letting people close to you know what you need can make the day feel a little easier to manage.

You may want the day acknowledged, or you may prefer not to discuss it at all. Some mums appreciate their child being remembered, while others prefer a quieter approach. Sharing your wishes ahead of time can help prevent misunderstandings and reduce pressure on the day itself.

Communicating Your Grief With Your Partner

Mother’s Day can be difficult for both parents, but it doesn’t always affect you in the same way.

Talking about how the day feels and what each of you needs in advance can help avoid miscommunication later on, whether that’s remembering your child together, taking personal time away or treating the day like any other.

Both approaches are valid. What matters most is recognising that grief can look different for each of you, and working together to find ways to cope.

When Mother’s Day arrives, the emotions you’ve been carrying in the lead-up can feel especially close to the surface.

Though the day can feel unavoidable, you still have control over how you spend it.

Remember Your Child In Your Own Way

Some mums choose to set aside a personal moment to remember their child. This could mean lighting a candle, visiting a place that was special to them, cooking their favourite meal or looking through photo albums. Whatever it is, small acts of remembrance can help you feel connected to your child on a day that centres around motherhood.

Do Something That Feels Comforting

You might find it helpful to focus on simple activities that bring a sense of calm. This could be spending time outdoors, watching a familiar film or taking a long, hot bath. These gentle routines can provide stability when all other emotions feel heavy.

Spend Time With People Who Feel Safe

Some mums prefer to spend the day with close family or trusted friends who understand the significance of their loss. Others feel more comfortable spending the day alone. There is no right choice. What matters is choosing the environment that feels safest for you while navigating grief on Mother’s Day.

It’s also important to remember that protecting your emotional wellbeing isn’t selfish. You don’t need to shape the day around other people’s expectations or worry about pleasing others.

Allow Your Emotions To Change

It’s likely that your emotions will shift throughout the day. You might feel sadness, anger, numbness or moments of peace. Some mums experience waves of emotion, while others feel quiet or withdrawn.

All of these reactions are normal, and allowing yourself to feel whatever arises without judgement can make the day run a little easier.

Take Breaks From The Outside World

If the outside world feels overwhelming, it’s okay to step back. Social media and public celebrations can intensify grief on Mother’s Day by constantly highlighting what feels missing.

Giving yourself permission to disconnect from those reminders can help create space to focus on your own wellbeing.

Mother’s Day can feel especially complicated when you’re grieving one child while still parenting others. You can feel pressure to celebrate for their sake while also carrying the pain of the child who isn’t there. Both of these feelings can exist at the same time.

Children often experience the day differently. Some want to celebrate you and show their love, while others feel unsure how to approach the day because they know it can be painful. Giving everyone permission to talk openly about how the day feels can help reduce that uncertainty.

Keeping expectations gentle and flexible also helps. Some families acknowledge the day in a small way, such as sharing a meal together or spending time doing something simple as a family. Others take a quieter approach that focuses more on togetherness than celebration.

You can also include your child who has died in the day in a way that feels right for your family. This could involve mentioning them, sharing memories or including something that reminds you of them.

Parenting while navigating grief on Mother’s Day can feel emotionally exhausting. But there’s no ‘perfect’ way to balance these moments. What matters most is allowing space for both love and grief to exist side by side.

People around you will likely want to be supportive, but might not know what to say or do. Thinking about how you’ll respond in advance can make these interactions feel easier to navigate.

Communicating Boundaries

It’s helpful to let people know in advance what you need in order to protect your emotional space.

You could say something like –

• “Mother’s Day is difficult for me, so I’m keeping things quiet this year.”

• “I may not respond to messages today, but I appreciate your understanding.”

Clear boundaries allow you to focus on coping with your grief in a way that feels right for you.

Helping Others Understand What Feels Supportive

When friends or family want to help but aren’t sure how, you could tell them what would feel meaningful.

For example, some mums appreciate their child being mentioned or remembered. Others value quiet support or a thoughtful message. Letting people know what helps can make their support feel more genuine and less uncomfortable.

The emotional impact of grief doesn’t end once Mother’s Day has passed. The build-up and the aftermath can both feel draining.

After the day is over, it can help to give yourself some space to recover. Grief takes emotional energy, and it’s normal to feel tired or overwhelmed once the day has passed.

Some things that can help include –

• Giving yourself time to rest and recover without pressure to get back to ‘normal’.

• Talking with someone you trust about how the day felt, like a friend or counsellor.

• Writing down your thoughts or feelings in a grief journal.

• Doing something calming or grounding, like taking a walk or engaging in a creative activity.

Losing a child doesn’t change the fact that you’re a mum. Whether you’re parenting other children or the child you lost was your only child, your motherhood is real and lasting.

Your relationship with your child continues through the love you carry, the memories you hold and the place they will always have in your life.

Motherhood doesn’t disappear after a child dies. It remains part of who you are, shaped by the bond you shared and the love that carries on.

At The Laura Centre, we provide specialist bereavement support for parents who have lost a child, as well as for children and young people who have lost a parent or sibling.

We understand that days like Mother’s Day can intensify grief and bring complex emotions to the surface. Our team offers a safe and supportive space where parents can talk openly about their experiences with people who understand the impact of child loss.

If you would like to learn more about the support available, you can click here, email info@thelauracentre.org.uk or call 0116 254 4341.