For many employees, the days after losing a loved one are filled not just with sadness, but also with uncertainty. They might feel stressed or confused about the time they’re allowed off, whether they’re eligible for pay and the risk of losing their job if they need more time away.

Employers are often the ones left to interpret what’s reasonable, yet many feel unsure of where to draw the line between professionalism and compassion. That’s why clear, thoughtful bereavement leave policies are so important – not only to support people through one of life’s most painful experiences, but also to build a workplace culture rooted in empathy, trust and long-term wellbeing.

Understanding the legal framework is the first step for any organisation reviewing its bereavement leave policies. While the law outlines a baseline, it’s limited in scope and leaves much open to interpretation.

Employers need to be aware not only of what’s required, but also where legal protections fall short, and how their own policies can bridge that gap.

Statutory Bereavement Leave

In the UK, there is only one legally defined form of bereavement leave, parental bereavement leave, which applies when a parent loses a child under the age of 18 or experiences a stillbirth after 24 weeks of pregnancy.

For all other types of bereavement – such as the loss of a partner, parent, sibling or friend – there is no statutory right to paid leave. Employees do have the right to take a ‘reasonable’ amount of unpaid time off to deal with an emergency involving a dependent under the Employment Rights Act 1996. However, this law does not define how many days are considered reasonable, nor does it require the leave to be paid.

Gaps In Legislation For Other Types Of Loss

There is currently no statutory bereavement leave for losses such as a sibling, grandparent close friend or pet. And while some employers offer leave for these losses, it’s entirely discretionary. This can leave grieving employees in a difficult position – forced to either use annual leave or take unpaid time off when they need compassion most.

Legal minimums are just that – minimums. In reality, reasonable bereavement leave policies should be shaped by empathy, flexibility and an understanding that grief looks different for everyone. Here’s what you should consider.

• Time off for different types of loss – Losing a child is not the same as losing a distant relative. But even the loss of a pet or close friend can be deeply affecting. Best-practice employers recognise this, offering tiered or case-by-case support.

• Flexibility based on individual circumstances – Considerations like the employee’s role in arranging the funeral, whether the death was sudden or traumatic or if travel is required should all influence what’s offered.

• Staggered or phased return to work – Returning full-time after a few days off is often unrealistic. Some employers now offer phased returns, reduced hours, adjusted responsibilities or even remote working during the early transition back.

Though guidance is broad, you can find advice via Acas for leave and pay when someone dies.

No matter how compassionate employers try to be, even well-intentioned bereavement leave policies can fall short if they don’t consider the lived experience of grief. Common pitfalls include –

• One-size-fits-all timeframes – Assuming that one or two days is enough can feel dismissive. Everyone grieves differently – what one person manages in a week, another may still be processing months later.

• Lack of emotional support – Providing time off is only part of the picture. Without signposting to counselling, peer support or internal wellbeing resources, employees may feel abandoned once they return.

• Pressure to return too soon or ‘carry on as normal’ – When the tone is all about ‘getting back to work’, employees often feel they have to suppress their grief to be seen as professional. Compassionate workplaces create space for vulnerability without judgement.

The law sets a starting point, not a standard to aspire to. Most bereaved employees need more than the minimum – they need time, flexibility and understanding.

A well-written bereavement policy helps take the guesswork out of an already stressful time, offering clear guidance while showing that your organisation genuinely cares about its people.

How To Write A Policy That Balances Empathy & Clarity

A good bereavement leave policy is both clear and kind. Start with the following structure –

• Define who the policy applies to (employees, contract workers etc.)

• Clearly state the number of days offered and the process for requesting time off

• Outline what counts as a significant loss (immediate family, chosen family, pets etc.)

Avoid vague language like “manager’s discretion” unless you back it up with examples. Consider including a tiered approach (e.g. more time for the loss of a partner or child, less for extended family) with the option to request additional leave based on individual need.

Also include whether the leave is paid or unpaid – many employees are afraid to ask. If it’s unpaid, we’ve outlined various avenues of financial support for bereaved families.

Involving Staff Feedback In Shaping Support

Rather than guessing what people need, ask. Talk to current staff or draw on your HR network to learn from real experiences of grief in the workplace. Anonymous feedback, pulse surveys, or even insights from exit interviews can reveal where existing policies fall short.

You might also consider creating a wellbeing or EDI working group to help shape a more compassionate, inclusive approach based on lived experience.

Including Flexible Options & Signposting To Help

Grief doesn’t follow a timeline, and most people won’t bounce back after a few days away. A compassionate bereavement policy recognises this and builds in flexibility. That might mean allowing leave to be taken in separate days rather than one block, offering time off for memorials or anniversaries or supporting a phased return to work with adjusted duties or reduced hours.

Make sure your policy also includes clear signposting to additional help when your employees return, including counselling services like The Laura Centre, Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs) or mental health first aiders.

Your policy might be thoughtful and generous – but it’s your managers who bring it to life. How a team member is treated in the first conversation after a loss often shapes their entire experience of returning to work.

Training Line Managers On How To Handle Bereavement Conversations

Managers don’t need to be grief experts, but they do need to know how to have a compassionate conversation. Offer training or at least a briefing document on –

• What to say (and what not to say)

• How to ask what the employee needs

• How to communicate leave options clearly

• When to check back in

You also may want to consider role-playing common scenarios during management training. This will help your team in the preparation for the real thing.

Give Permission For Flexibility & Discretion

Many managers fear ‘setting a precedent’ by offering additional time or making changes. Make it clear that your culture encourages flexibility when it comes to grief. A written policy can be a safety net, but discretion and empathy should guide the tone.

For example – “While our policy offers X days of leave, managers are empowered to extend this based on personal circumstances in consultation with HR”.

Encourage Check-Ins After Return

Finally, support doesn’t end the moment someone walks back through the door. As a manager, you should schedule informal check-ins at regular intervals – one week, one month and beyond. These are not performance reviews, just a space to ask – “How are you feeling about work at the moment?”. You shouldn’t pressure the employee to ‘get back to normal’ but instead open space for ongoing support and adaptation to their new normal.

At The Laura Centre, we support individuals and families after the death of a child or a close loved one, including parents, siblings and professionals navigating grief in the workplace.

We work with employers to support bereaved staff compassionately and appropriately. Whether you’re reviewing your bereavement leave policies, training line managers or signposting staff to grief counselling, we can help you build a workplace that truly understands loss.

Visit www.thelauracentre.org.uk to learn more or get in touch for policy advice and staff support.